Death Visited Me in the Shower...

Those who know me well know that I am DEATHLY afraid of cockroaches....ESPECIALLY the big water bug kind...in fact, I'm thoroughly convinced that those people who go to hell and meet up with the devil look straight into the eyes of a huge, nasty, oh-so-discusting gigantic cockroach!!!!...and that, my friends, if no no other reason, is to make sure you dot your eyes and cross your teeth**...

So, for you brave souls who are sure you're headed to the pearly gates, but are curious what the beast looks like, I made sure a took a picture... He, yes the beast, met me in my shower the other day...and b/c Kelly is deployed and we only have one shower that works, I was forced to face my fears (after screaming and running into the other room a few times)...I gathered satan up in a huge ball of toilet paper--he quickly came crawling up the side (I obviously don't have the squish-squeeze-pick up technique down...I admit it, I'm afraid of the crunchy aftertaste...)--which made me screeeeaaaammmm....and hastily toss the wad in the toilet...lucky for me, I happened to have good aim this time...the thing is, cockroaches, especially water bugs, aren't afraid of water...hence the term "water" bug...the next thing I knew, the little jerk was swimming in the nasty toilet water over to the side of the bowl...and to my horror, trying to crawl out!!!....YIKES!!!...I had to think quick, or else have this barfy toilet-water-infested creature invade my bathroom again...so I flushed...and I tell you what, folks, those nasty suckers know how to swim...that booger swam for dear life and I was afraid that he wouldn't go down...but at the last second, with the last big swirl of the water, down he went...

HALLELUJAH!!!....Score one for the J-Team!!!!!

If you look very closely, you will see a little black thing to the the top and right of the demon...if you're wondering what that is, I'll tell you...it's cockroach poop...sooooo...if you've ever found something like this in one of your cabinets and have recently seen a cockroach, now you know that not only was it in your cabinets, but it was dropping dueces for you to find later....YUCK-O-LAH!!!

(**YES, I know I said the part about the dotting and crossing wrong which is part of the humor...just laugh and think outloud: Candace is such a dork!)