Warning: Gross Post...Why I'm up BEFORE the crack of dawn...

first let me say that it's been way too long since i've posted...shame on me...i have to admit that i have a good excuse, though...my sweet husband, who has been deployed for six months, is coming back home to us this week and so i've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off... so, here's the story...and i'm sticking to it...you, on the other hand, may not want to stick to it...unless you're a mom--and then you might find it quite amusing... so...if you're wondering why i'm up at 4am, well, i've been up with brendan since 1am...he threw up before he went to bed last night (spewed all over the floor outside the bathroom--thank heavens for the carpet cleaner vacuum i just bought last week (to clean up the huge pile of diarrhea that slid right past his diaper and onto my bedroom floor--oh yeah, i can't forget all the extra drippings from that side of the room all the way to the bathroom)...anywho, if you don't know this, i HATE cleaning up vomit...i know, i know...strong words, but really i just don't do vomit--i can do diarrhea all day long, but vomit and i just don't agree)...back to what i was saying, i thought it might've just been a fluke...like a one-time thing--which would be GREAT b/c then i could send him to school tomorrow (now today) and still go to BSF in the morning and have the college girl come over and clean my house...but it wasn't my luck--he was up at 1 and couldn't settle down...his tummy was growling (sounded like a hungry growl to me) and so i fed him some yogurt and warm milk (didn't want to give him cold milk b/c i thought it'd be too hard on his tummy being the middle of the night and all)...anywho, he was up again before 4 saying he needed to potty--i said to him "well, go ahead and go"--and didn't think anything of it until i noticed that he was making a MAD DASH to the bathroom...and since there was still vomit on the floor (there were towels over it--you don't EVEN want me to tell you why i didn't clean it up right away) and since corbin had just diarrhea'd all over the floor a few days before, my mommy instinct kicked in and i rushed into the bathroom to hear the joyous sounds of my precious little boy with the runs (why? might you ask is diarrhea joyous?? BECAUSE, silly, he made it to the toilet and NOT all over my carpet!!!)...ok, so he's going and going and going...and then the next thing i know he breaks out into this crazy story about the sandman (from spidey 3) "killed the bad guy and shoot the bad guy and he dead and...." and he went on & on & one (must've been dreaming about it before he woke up??)...anywho, then said he needed to throw up...so i took him off the pot and turned him around so he could do so--while vomiting (btw, he was naked from the waste down) he shot (litterally) diarrhea out his butt and onto the shower curtain and all over the floor...i didn't realize what he had done until (my glasses weren't even on) until he turned around with a confused look on his face that read something like "did something just shoot out of my rear?"...me, oh my!!! gotta love being a mom! the thing about all this is that satan is trying to steal my joy away...he knows that this is supposed to be a wonderful time with kelly coming home and all... but the thing of it is i, with the help of j.c. will not let him succeed... candace