Little update...that's all...

One of my friends and mentors, Karen Rich, had sent me an email asking me how I'm doing and so I wrote her back a lengthy explanation about some things...and since I figured I worked so hard at doing that, I'd just copy & paste it here on the blog so that yall can see some of the latest on me...

Here it is (sorry if parts of it I'm speaking to Karen...just insert your name wherever it says "Karen" and it'll work itself out...I know, I know, I'm being lazy...but would you rather me not post at all??????)


kelly deployed almost 3 weeks ago...he'll be gone for 6 months. it hasn't been easy, in fact, i've gotten VERY sick again...i had to send the kiddos away so that we could prevent hospitalization again. the kids left on tues and weren't supposed to come home until sunday, but my mom just called and said brendan's been crying the whole time...he's REALLY had a VERY hard time with daddy being gone and i knew it would be hard to be away from mommy, too, but thought that maybe it'd be ok b/c he loves my parent so much. it's been so hard on us all. kelly, bless his heart, is feeling sooo incredibly guilty...not b/c i'm saying things to make him feel guilty, but b/c he's away from us during such a hard time. anywho, looks like i'm going to be picking the kiddos up tomorrow...my mom is coming back here which will not be fun...you know, she has md and has a very hard time doing pretty much everything....i feel for her....and for there's always the risk that she'll fall and hurt herself or the kids and i just am not able to pick her up b/c of my fibromyalgia...like i said, it's not been good and we still have a very tough road ahead of us. my mom is having a hard time dealing with my mental illness...she's trying to be supportive, but like kelly, is very frustrated--it's amazing how when you're as depressed and anxiety-filled as i am right now how skewed the world looks and seems...and you can't just say "don't believe that--it's satan's lies...or don't feel that way b/c it's not the truth..."...well, it's MY TRUTH as I SEE IT...i try to change my perception and awareness, but there's only so much that i'm able to do. we're trying new meds and in the meantime god and i are having some serious discussions...i HAVE to have some healing, otherwise the kiddos won't have a mother and kelly won't have a wife...you know, i'm getting a lot out right now...thanks, karen!!!...i may copy this and put it on my blog...i've told people if they want to know how i'm doing, check the blog...

the boys will both be in school full time starting here pretty quick and so that'll bring some relief...i'm planning on having brendan in woodson's pre-k program...but i don't find out until august 20th whether or not he got in...and school starts on the 28th!...nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh??? i have a back-up plan, though...until aisd starts, i'll be sending them both full-time to rainbow bible school...i just love their program so i figure it's win-win either way....i am a little nervous about changing schools for b since there's so many other changes with daddy being gone, but he LOVES to ride the school bus and takes a lot of joy and pride in it and if he goes to woodson, he gets to ride the school bus...plus, there will be changes regardless b/c he'll be getting a new teacher at rbs...

a few elders are coming over here tonight to annoint me with oil...i'm looking foward to it--to see how and if any healing comes and to see what doors the lord opens for me that maybe i was so blinded by the depression that i perceived them as closed...

well, i've rambled on long enough...gonna get this sent off and write in my blog and try to do anything else i feel i just need to get done before tomorrow morning.

take care...i love you...hugs & blessings,
candace

My 1st day with my new camera...

Ok... Kelly let me go ahead and have our anniversary (Sept 15th), birthday (Oct 28th), and Christmas (you SHOULD KNOW THE DATE!!) gift early since he'll be gone anyway...I had bought a new smaller camera so I could send my older camera with him to Qatar...the new one, well, let's just say that it didn't work so great... So I used my a, b & c (get it??) money to get a nice fancier camera...well, i took over 120 pics and of those, these few are the ones that turned out...the other 100+ were blurry---I couldn't get this camera figured out!! I tried EVERYTHING!!! So, after speaking with the sales associate at Circuit City (his name is Korey--I've always liked that name, maybe b/c I had a good "growing up" friend named Corey who was such a nice guy...but switching it to a "K" is really cool...I'll have to put it on my list of favorite names--not b/c we're trying or going to have any more kiddos, but b/c I'm a girl and girls just do things like that)...anywho, Korey suggested I bring it back and so I am... UGH!!! I'm sooo frustrated!!! Anywho, Karter (our dog) was a very good subject, so was our rocking chair and one of my plants--the pictures that did turn out turned out very clear, but 16 pics out of over 100 isn't very good at all...oh yeah...my foot also did an AMAZING job at being still and smiling when asked..... :) I then played with them in Picassa and this is what I came up with...enjoy!!!! Candace

P.S....I majorly shrunk these pics down so that it wouldn't take forever to upload...the quality printed out is MUCH better...

Thank you Grandpa Dugi, Aunt Melissa, and Uncle Frank!!!

We just LOVE our Grandpa Dugi, our Aunt Melissa, and Uncle Frank!!!!! They really know how to love on us!!! We received a wonderful gift in the mail on Saturday from them...it was a membership to our local YMCA!!! Now I can exercise without hurting myself (b/c water exercise is the only thing that doesn't irritate my fibromyalgia), and the boys and splish and splash in the water!!! We didn't get to use it until today and since Corbin was in school, little B and I went and had such a blast!!!! Brendan is such a water bug (Corbin tolerates the water and sometimes does better than others), but B...he really just can't get enough of it!!! I was able to snap a few shots of him jumping in the water with his Spiderman inner tube...he would do it over and over and over and over and over and over (I think you get the point) while I would exercise or stretch...then we would swim laps--it was really very cool!!!...he did about 2 laps completely on his own and then we did another 5 or so (not all together, though) different ways (me pushing him, me pulling me, etc)...he would be so proud to help and would just giggle and giggle. Another thing he did was learn to kick his legs and swim...I'd back off about 5 feet from the side and he'd push off from the side and swim to me and then he'd push off from me and swim to the side...he did a lot of burping, but I think it mainly was due to swallowing air (or at least that's what he told me)... The other cool thing that he did which I thought was very brave was he held onto the side and pushed off so that he could touch the bottom...his head would only go about 4 inches under the water, but I thought that that was a pretty brave move for a 4 year old (and I repeatedly told him so!!). It was a really fun time and the best part about it was that it was a really great bonding experience for me and the little B...times have been really tough lately and so it was so good and such a blessing to have fun and giggle and play and love on each other and be the mommy that God created me to be. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Grandpa, Melissa, and Frank...your gift means more to me than you will ever know. I love you dearly. Candace

This is B about to jump off into the pool...

and off he goes!!!!

...swimming to the side...

...pulling himself out of the water...

That was so much fun!!!...Let's do it again!!!

Weeeee!!!

Ok, let's take this tube-thing off and show you how I can hold my breath...

Did you catch it, mom? (no, I wasn't quick enough...I'll try again)

I still didn't catch him under the water...so here's a hangin'-on-the-side-of-the-pool-pose...

Well, do you feel like you lived the experience with us?